Strap in and get comfy, because I’m about to get real frank about how many men (myself once long included) perceive essential oils, at least from afar.
You see, essential oils have a certain rap about them, especially among men. You know what I’m talking about. Someone mentions using or defusing oils and you’ve got that instant picture in your head of someone just a little …off. Could be a number of things, but, quite bluntly, what other common interest seems to connect postmenopausal housewives, homeschoolers, massage therapists, and Woodstock hippies all together quite like essential oils?
Look, they’re stereotypes because they’re true. And I mean no offense to anyone by it. (My wife is a massage therapist who grew up homeschooled, so I would be digging my own grave if she didn’t agree with me that these stereotypes, good or bad, do ring partially true.)
But why?
Facebook, for one, has created a subculture that self-identifies as such, and as hard as those within those circles strive to connect the uninitiated to the benefits of essential oils, their methods, wording, and lackluster artistry are mediocre at best in audience attraction and listener retention.
Another clear disconnect is the obvious lack of men who partake in essential oils. Now, this is a broad generalization (as most of what I’m relating to you will be), but for the most part, men are rather adverse to the idea of essential oils.
I mean, the name alone. Essential oils. *Shivers slightly.* That word alone –essential- is somehow both benignly feminine yet aggressively self-confident, like an angry declawed house cat.
“Yeah, thanks but no thanks,” we men often think, “There’s nothing ‘essential’ about any oil unless I’m putting through an engine.”
It doesn’t end there. The whole deal seems like women’s speak to us guys.
We hear these words, and our thoughts drift in a completely different direction, often with skepticism, always with snark:
Diffusers: Oh so overpriced humidifiers, right?
Aromatic: For smelling? Is there one that smells like freshly mowed grass or broken-in leather boots? Because otherwise no thanks.
“But they smell wonderful“: So do steaks, and, if we’re honest, gasoline.
“The bottles are so cute“: Do you know who you’re talking to right now?
“It’s an awesome process of extracting the essence of plants“: …The essence. Of plants. The essence. (By this point you’ve completely lost us to more important things like football and what we’re eating for dinner.)
“They’re Chemical Free!“: Sure, but not all chemicals are necessarily bad, so I’m going to just roll past this one before it turns into a whole thing.
“You can diffuse the Scent of Christmas in Your Home Any Time!“: And with that, you’ve lost us completely.
And finally but prominently, the term “Oily“: Ugh, this word. You ladies use the word ‘oily’ like it’s a good thing. We just started to understand that “oily skin” is bad like a decade ago, and now you’re telling us oily is good? But only for oils, right? So, yes, the oils are oily? We’d be more concerned if they weren’t. (But, for the record, essential oils aren’t oily. I know. Mass hysteria.)
I could go on, but you get the idea.
Fact is, when we see women talking about essential oils in regards to issues women face in women’s speak with words that appeal to, well, women, us fellas don’t quite know what to do with it. We can be sympathetic, but can shape a subconscious mindset that’s difficult to overcome.
In addition to appealing mainly to those who are “holistically focused” (which rarely includes guys; we tend to be almost overtly logic-based in our thinking and downright (shortsightedly) dismissive of alternative mindsets), oils just seem from what we see to be made for women. And therein lies the problem.
My Own Journey to Discovering Essential Oils
Personally, when I was in contact with those who use essential oils, I was dismissive, or simply waited for a change of subject. After all, I’m not gonna judge somebody for their one weird tendency, even if that tendency is essential oils.
Oh man, if I could go back and talk to myself of only two short years ago, old me would wonder what the hell happened, and how hard I hit my head.
Did I initially relent and give in to the idea of at least trying oils because #HotGirlfriend? Yes. Yes I did.
Men have done a lot of things we would never otherwise put ourselves through because #HotGirl, including photoshoots, shopping malls, and meeting extended family.
So yeah, I tried essential oils. In fact, I remember distinctly the first time I ever tried one, because I was much more interested in the College Football Semifinals game between the Ducks and Buckeyes going on the background than the Peppermint oil in front of me. But I went for it.
Alarmingly powerful, the taste and smell of Peppermint make Altoids (or any other mint you’ve ever had in your life) seems like child’s play.
Smelled it. Tasted it. Whoa. And after some urging, applied a drop to the back of my neck. Smacks you broadside like a snow-spiked pine tree in the dead of winter.
I still carry the first bottle of peppermint my wife ever gave me. The wrapper has long since worn off and been replaced by duct tape.
The cooling sensation is not unlike an icy hot patch, except that it actually feels—somehow–natural. As if you’ve dipped a patch of your skin into liquid peppermint.
I could see the appeal, but I didn’t personally have a use for it.
That is, until later, when Jessica was over at my place and a migraine struck.
See, I’ve long dealt with what are called ocular migraines, which are like regular migraines, but concentrated within the ocular nerve, blinding and completely disabling the ability to really do anything until it passes. When I was 16, I was in a pretty gnarly car wreck (in the sense of what it did to my face), and lost most of the vision in my right eye. Since that time, I’ve gotten those migraines with increasing regularity.
In the past when they’ve crept up seemingly out of the void, I’ve had no choice but to go into a dark room, throw a wet washcloth on my head, pop a double dose of Excedrin and pray for the best. Usually, a few hours later, it’s over and I’m no worse for the wear. But it’s miserable in those moments.
But this time, Jessica was over, and I couldn’t hide it. Jessica strongly suggested (i.e. lovingly insisted) the Peppermint. Desperate for relief of any kind, we applied it to my temples.
Miraculously, it worked. The Peppermint helped soothe and loosen the migraine’s grip juuuust enough to make me functional.
Later, we tried Deep Relief, a Young Living blend of Peppermint, Lemon, Balsam, Clove, Coconut, Wintergreen, Vetiver, and Dorado Azul. The relief was almost instant, and Deep Relief continues to be a lifesaver.
Now? I hardly ever get migraines, and when I do, I have the perfect blend of defense.
We all have our own thing. Something that aches, something that flares up or lingers too long, a chronic something, new or old, that we just kind of …accept. I’m sure guilty of it. I had accepted the ocular migraines as a part of life, since traditional medicines (and an ophthalmologist) had no lasting solution.
But why? Why not …try? Like I said, I was a skeptic. Took the perfect storm of circumstances for me to even give essential oils that shot in the dark. And am I glad I ever took it.
I continue to this day find new uses and benefits from various oils, both alone and blended. Cedarwood, Idaho Blue Spruce, Cypress, Orange, Peppermint, Shutran, Tea Tree, and Wintergreen are some of my go-to’s.
Seriously, they’re awesome. I only wish I had known years ago what I know now, which, admittedly, is still not all that much. But I’m learning. Ever skeptical, ever wise-cracking, but slowly but surely understanding the scope of the benefits of essential oils.
For Us Oil Users, How Can We Break Through the Skepticism?
It takes an adaptation of the language we use, and the way we go about expressing it.
Men will be dismissive, because oils seem weird and womanly. And that’s exactly what my attitude was, before I discover some of the less feminine oils, such as the cedars, peppers, firs, and masculine blends. Those are game-changers. And that’s to say nothing of the soaps, body washes, colognes, deodorants, supplements, and *ahem* the more invigorating oils in the expansive and expanding Young Living product line targeted for and made by men.
Seriously, they’re awesome. I only wish I had known years ago what I know now, which, admittedly, is still not all that much. But I’m learning. Ever skeptical, ever wise-cracking, but slowly but surely understanding the scope of the benefits of essential oils.
And we shouldn’t be quick to dismiss the skepticism. If people had been with me, I’d have totally missed out on the years of benefits without a second thought. And it’s more than not just dismissing the cynicism, in fact, we should embrace it. Admit that you too were once in their shoes, share a story of how ludicrous someone sounded when they first mentioned essential oils to you.
Like anything else in life, it takes having a reason to try something, and it can be as simple as piqued interest, or as complex as a chronic ache with no other options available, much like my own. Whatever it is, let it be their own, and for goodness’ sake, let’s try to make our events just a little more inclusive to guys, and, frankly, a little less lame.
Man Made Oil Workshops
With this in mind, Cypress & Spruce hosts occasional men-focused, man-made, manly men workshops for men (okay I’ll stop). Here’s what you can expect: a very casual affair. Beer in the fridge and whiskey on the counter. Casual conversations. Answers to your questions. Oils to try out, stations for crafting cologne and beard oils, as much or as little oil info as you’d like, and even a no-cost blackjack table with free prizes.
We want to overcome those stereotypes, that bad rap, the misinformation. Sharing some cool knowledge, trying out some oils, making some blends, hanging out, and having a good time.
Follow us on Facebook to stay updated on all the latest events and opportunities, including our Man Made Oil Workshops, which, if nothing else, are an informative and fun chance to hang out, talk about sports and life, and I promise that under no circumstance will we use the word “oily” at any time. Well, at least I won’t. Can’t promise that our wives won’t let one slip.
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